Tomorrow is my baby girl's birthday. We could not have received a better or more precious Christmas gift than the one we were blessed with 34 years ago.How quickly the time has gone. It seems to go quicker & quicker the older I get. The days & weeks all too soon become years. I am so grateful... although that could never be an adequate enough word to describe the feelings of my heart...for this most cherished treasure in my life... my amazing daughter. Thank you Heavenly Father for trusting me (even with my considerable imperfections) with one of your most valiant spirits. I also thank her for her righteous desires to be obedient and for her teaching her children the way they should go. Until now, we have never been apart this long and it is especially hard at this time of year. Some days the pain of it seems to break my heart and then after a time the peace comes once more. I am so very humbled by the knowledge that He knows our suffering and has taken it upon Himself on our behalf. There could be no sweeter gift. One of my favorite scriptures is found in D&C 101:16 "be still and know that I am God." I love Him... & I trust Him...and so I know that He will give me the strength to do what I need to do & even though I cannot see...He can. So tomorrow I celebrate a most wonderful day...the birth of our angel daughter... Shelli. Happy Birthday my beautiful girl...I love you forever. Mom

Yesterday I put up my Christmas tree. Yes... I know it is only November, but I wanted to. Some years I find it hard to get into the Christmas spirit, but not this year. This year is different. There is something so warm & comforting about a room lit only by the lights on the tree. One of my fondest childhood memories was the first Christmas we spent after moving to California. I was 10 years old and my sisters were 6. We had no furniture in the living room because of the move but we did have a tree. It was silver. It wasn't lush and full like the ones they make these days. It looked more like a Charlie Brown tree. Underneath the tree was a round lamp that turned with different colored sections of red, green & blue that shone upon the branches. It also cast it's light around the room. It was beautiful. My sisters & I danced & twirled as we watched our shadows on the wall. Three happy & excited little girls. It is something I will never forget. I couldn't tell you one thing I got that year for Christmas but THAT memory & the joy I felt will never fade. So Christmas ISN'T about the things we get, it is about feelings. The feelings of gratitude to the Father of us all for the gift of His Son. The feelings of love for our Savior and the peace that comes a little more freely this time of year because of His birth, the feelings of joy we experience by just being with those we love. The memories we make together will always be with us. That is what matters. THAT is the gift of Christmas.

Today... this is for my daughter first of all... and for her children...but ultimately I'm sure it will be for me. Each and every day I look to see if Shelli has posted something new on her blog. I feel so much more a part of her life when I do this. I learn things and gain insights by doing this that I could not in any other way. Shelli is a VERY private person who doesn't always verbalize her feelings, but she eloquently expresses her feelings through her writing. I feel very honored to be her Mother. What an amazing gift she is to me. If for nothing else than this, I will forever be in Heavenly Fathers debt. But of course there are so many many blessings that I have been given that that is just the tip of the iceberg. I have been struggling lately with the fact that I am so far away from her & her lovely "little" family. (If you can call a family with 5 beautiful children little.) I KNOW I am where I am supposed to be at this time in my life...but still I struggle. I have been feeling a bit lost here in Alberta although I absolutely love it here, so there is quite a conflict going on inside of me. I am so very grateful that I KNOW I have a Father in Heaven who is so very aware of all of this and who knows the answers to any and everything in my life. I could not and would not want to be without that great gift. I KNOW He loves me more than I could possibly comprehend and I have a sweet loving Savior who has felt and continues to feel my pain...so why do I worry? There is nothing to ultimately worry about. It is all taken care of. So today, right now, I need to turn my fears into faith, BECAUSE I know how much I am loved. Today is Remembrance Day, a day to remember those who have gone before and some who have given their very lives for freedom...but who better to remember than our Savior who made the ultimate sacrifice for us...