Yesterday I put up my Christmas tree. Yes... I know it is only November, but I wanted to. Some years I find it hard to get into the Christmas spirit, but not this year. This year is different. There is something so warm & comforting about a room lit only by the lights on the tree. One of my fondest childhood memories was the first Christmas we spent after moving to California. I was 10 years old and my sisters were 6. We had no furniture in the living room because of the move but we did have a tree. It was silver. It wasn't lush and full like the ones they make these days. It looked more like a Charlie Brown tree. Underneath the tree was a round lamp that turned with different colored sections of red, green & blue that shone upon the branches. It also cast it's light around the room. It was beautiful. My sisters & I danced & twirled as we watched our shadows on the wall. Three happy & excited little girls. It is something I will never forget. I couldn't tell you one thing I got that year for Christmas but THAT memory & the joy I felt will never fade. So Christmas ISN'T about the things we get, it is about feelings. The feelings of gratitude to the Father of us all for the gift of His Son. The feelings of love for our Savior and the peace that comes a little more freely this time of year because of His birth, the feelings of joy we experience by just being with those we love. The memories we make together will always be with us. That is what matters. THAT is the gift of Christmas.
Today... this is for my daughter first of all... and for her children...but ultimately I'm sure it will be for me. Each and every day I look to see if Shelli has posted something new on her blog. I feel so much more a part of her life when I do this. I learn things and gain insights by doing this that I could not in any other way. Shelli is a VERY private person who doesn't always verbalize her feelings, but she eloquently expresses her feelings through her writing. I feel very honored to be her Mother. What an amazing gift she is to me. If for nothing else than this, I will forever be in Heavenly Fathers debt. But of course there are so many many blessings that I have been given that that is just the tip of the iceberg. I have been struggling lately with the fact that I am so far away from her & her lovely "little" family. (If you can call a family with 5 beautiful children little.) I KNOW I am where I am supposed to be at this time in my life...but still I struggle. I have been feeling a bit lost here in Alberta although I absolutely love it here, so there is quite a conflict going on inside of me. I am so very grateful that I KNOW I have a Father in Heaven who is so very aware of all of this and who knows the answers to any and everything in my life. I could not and would not want to be without that great gift. I KNOW He loves me more than I could possibly comprehend and I have a sweet loving Savior who has felt and continues to feel my pain...so why do I worry? There is nothing to ultimately worry about. It is all taken care of. So today, right now, I need to turn my fears into faith, BECAUSE I know how much I am loved. Today is Remembrance Day, a day to remember those who have gone before and some who have given their very lives for freedom...but who better to remember than our Savior who made the ultimate sacrifice for us...
Summer Memories
My birthday is the very last day of August. I remember looking forward to that day as any child does with excitement and hope. My parents, especially my Mom made sure that we had a wonderful day when our birthdays came around. I also remember the feeling when it was over...going back to school...need I say more? It also was the end of summer and fall was looming just around the corner and after that... dreaded winter. Growing up in California wasn't so bad, no freezing cold days that never seem to end, etc. I was born in Ontario, Canada and lived there until I was 9. I grew up in sunny California. (poor me...I know). I lived there until I was 19 and then I moved back to Ontario. Quite a different life from what I was used to. I LOVE the fall colors back east. The autumns in B.C. don't even come close to the beauty of the Ontario autumns. I love the reds and oranges and golds everywhere you look. I also didn't realize or remember how wondrous new fallen snow could be. Everything looks so pure and clean. I'd also forgotten how amazing it is to look out the window at night and see everything lit up...or that is the illusion you get when snow is everywhere. Even at night you can see everything clearly. This year I am especially sad to see summer go. That is usually not the case. My very favorite time of year is autumn. I love the feeling it brings. It just feels different than summer. You just know when its here. I guess it's because this summer has been a memorable one. It began with me going out to Ontario and visiting with my Dad, sisters and family. My Dad and I had a road trip across Canada stopping in Alberta to visit my amazing sons & daughters-in-law. He not only got to see his grandsons but he got to meet Jayme, Keb's bride and Stacy, Jordan's sweetheart. Next was a 6 week visit here with us . He got to spend alot of time with Shelli & Darren & their 5 wonderful children. He knew Noelle & Bergen already from his previous visit but got to meet Emma, Tate & Nya. He LOVED that. It was a great time for all of us. At the end of his trip just days before he was to go home he had a mini stroke. Instead of the drive back home alone (which NONE of thought was a good idea, even before the stroke) he had to quickly fly home. Shelli's going away gift was 3 family pictures in a lovely frame and also a packet of pictures of summer memories for him of the things we did together. I am soooo grateful for the time we got to spend with him. My grandchildren LOVE him. My children LOVE him and David and I LOVE him. So this year even though I am just a bit sad to see my friend summer depart I just need to focus on my love for the fall and look forward to making wonderful new memories and try to do my best to make the most of every day...for each moment is precious.
The Temple
This weekend David & I got to go over to Vancouver for the temple dedication. What a humbling experience to be sitting in our beautiful new temple and to be taking part in something that we will never have the opportunity in our lifetime to experience again. I never realized how much joy I would feel to know we have our very own temple. It feels so personal and I am so looking forward to attending as often as I can. The first thing will be to do the sacred work for my own Mother. What better way to say Happy Mothers Day & to express my love for her than to go & perform those ordinances on her behalf. I am so thankful for temples that give us the greatest of all blessings of being able to be sealed for time & all eternity with those we hold so dear here in mortality & that without that, we would have no claim on each other in the next life. Our Heavenly Father has blessed us with the capability to love with all our hearts so how tragic would it be if this great work wasn't in place, so that these relationships can continue beyond the grave. I need my children & grandchildren to know that without a doubt and with every fiber of my being I KNOW that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints contains the fullness of the gospel and everything we need to know to return to our Heavenly Father. This is His church and He directs the affairs of this great work through His Prophets. I KNOW I was in the presence of His prophet upon the earth at this time, even Thomas S. Monson, this weekend. I KNOW that the Book of Mormon is a testament of our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ, and that it was received and translated exactly as the Prophet Joseph Smith testified. I KNOW that our Heavenly Father & His Son Jesus Christ know us personally, even better than we know ourselves and that they are concerned daily for our well being. I KNOW that prayers are heard and answered, even if it takes longer than we think it should or even if the answer isn't always the one we think it should be. Heavenly Father knows what we need ...when we need it... and will NEVER leave us alone. I think that great truth is so important to know...WE ARE NEVER ALONE!! I am grateful beyond words to have been entrusted with loving & nurturing 4 precious spirits & that they were His children long before they were mine, and that I am in a sacred partnership with Him in this endeavor. I am also most especially blessed to be a constant influence in the lives of my precious grandchildren. I love them more than I can say. I am grateful for a husband who lately has been feeling Heavenly Fathers influence and therefore been having a greater desire to be more obedient to the things he knows to be true. I am truly humbled when I think of our sweet Savior and what he did for me personally. That He willingly gave up His life that I might be able to return to live with the Father again. Without that great sacrifice I would be lost...we all would. It is my prayer that I will be able to live worthy of that greatest of all gifts, that His atonement on my behalf will not have been in vain.
Family
This is my first attempt at blogging. My daughter Shelli does it and it is a joy for me to read what is going on in her Mommy's mind and her perspective on family. It is also a journal of sorts which I really need to be doing. So here goes... My husband, kids and their kids are my greatest joy and I am so grateful for them in my life. Yesterday we went to see the 2010 Olympic Torch as it went through our little town of Crofton. I invited Shelli & Darren and the grandkids to come and see it with David & me. It was a beautiful sunny day but a little chilly as we waited 20 minutes or so for it to pass. It was here & gone in about 30 seconds. I don't know if the children appreciated the great tradition of the world that they witnessed because it happened so fast. As with our lives, it goes by too quickly. Sometimes we get so caught up in waiting for events to happen that we might miss the significant things that happen in an instant. I know I need to find more joy in the little things and not ever be waiting for happiness to come, when...it is around me every day. It is in a child's love even if they are grown, because they are still and will always be my babies. It is in a spouse who loves me more than ever even after almost 33 years of living together. It is in a grandchild's hug or note that says "You are the best Grandma, ever." What could be better than that? We need to express our love and appreciation every day for those around us. Whether it be family or friends. If I have learned anything in my life so far it is that time and opportunity should never be wasted. If we are grateful we should share that gratitude with those it concerns because life is full of fleeting moments and we never know when or if the opportunity will come again. So in this my first blog, I wish to express my deep love for my sweet husband David who is doing his best to survive in this world when he feels lost or discouraged and who daily tells me how much he loves me. I want to share my love for my beautiful daughter Shelli who is an example and a rock to me and is the kind of Mother I wish I could have been more like. I love her love of and testimony of the gospel truths and her great desire to teach her children the way they should go. I must include Darren, her husband in this too. He is a righteous man who shares the same eternal goals as Shelli in raising their children. I am so thankful for that. My grandchildren are in great hands. I also want to say how grateful I am for my son Keb who is such a kind and loving person who always lets me know how much he loves me and that even with all my shortcomings tells me I am the spiritual glue that holds our family together. I love his tenderness when it comes to spiritual things and his willingness to be taught. I am grateful for Jayme, his future wife, who also shares a love for spiritual things. I am so thankful for my son Justin who is ever striving to grow and become the person Heavenly Father knows he is, even when it would be easier to give up. He keeps going. I love that about him. I always know how much he loves me and that I am a vital part of his life and that he knows I am his greatest earthly cheerleader. And lastly my Jordan. I am so grateful for his trust in me and love for me. He knows when I need a hug the most and is willingly there to provide it. He is always there with no complaint when we need a helping hand and gives us his full support when we ask. As for my grandchildren... They are the very best of my friends and a most dear part of my heart. They brighten my days and my life. Because of them I see the future more clearly and I know I have much to do to be ready and worthy to spend eternity with them. I pray that I will be the best example and help I can be to my family as a wife, mother and grandmother and that we may together all find joy here on this earth and in the eternities.
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